Your friends are sick of eating at this shitty whole foods restaurant every fucking day. All they sell is beets and miso soup. They're going to stop inviting you out because they know you'll steer them back to the place just so you can feed this obsession you have with that goddamn waitress/waiter (who, frankly, is not even all that attractive. And he/she is working here, in a whole foods restaurant making sixty nine dollars a shift. To stay here for this long making so little money means she/he is here for "the philosophy" of the place which is really some bad fucking news). Why don't you just-- What? No she/he isn't looking over here. Why don't you just ask him/her out?
In fact, fuck this. There are a lot of waitresses/waiters I enjoy staring at who work in restaurants that actually serve heated food. I'm out of here. And when she/he comes back to take your order, I highly recommend you suggest that you reciprocate his/her wonderful service by getting him/her a drink after his/her shift's over tonight, and I recommend you suggest a place that sells vegetable juices, and if you don't do it tonight you can forget about inviting me out for dinner ever again because we're all real sick of putting up with this shit. You broke up with Sharon/Jimmy over six months ago. It's like you're focusing on shit that you know will never work out just to avoid finally moving on. Ask him/her out and get this shit over with. Because today's Ask An Attractive Member Of The Service Industry If You Can Buy Him Or Her A Drink After He Or She Gets Off Work Tonight Day!
